


you were never supposed to mean this much to me

by rosesbuckley



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 3x15, Being Trapped, Boys In Love, Buck Loves Eddie, Buck REALLY loves Eddie, Christopher is a Sweetheart, Cuddling and Snuggling, Eddie loves Buck, Established Relationship, First Kiss, Getting Together, Hospitals, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, There's a shadowhunters reference, bless his heart, buddie, like a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23793685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesbuckley/pseuds/rosesbuckley
Summary: Eddie didn’t love him. Eddie was his best friend and nothing more. Christopher was simply his best friends kid, not his son. He was in a world where Chris called him Bucky, instead of Dad or Papa.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 276





	you were never supposed to mean this much to me

**Author's Note:**

> 2nd Buddie fic! 
> 
> Bonas points for anyone who gets the Shadowhunters reference.

This was something he never expected. He never expected to fall for someone he once couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with at the beginning. He never expected to fall so hard and so quick. He never expected to fall for his best friend. And he definitely didn’t expect to be the co-parent of said best friends kid.

And yet, it happened. It happened and he was scared. He was confused. And he was worried about ruining the best thing that ever happened to him.

Eddie didn’t love him. Eddie was his best friend and nothing more. Christopher was simply his best friends kid, not his son. He was in a world where Chris called him Bucky, instead of Dad or Papa.

He was upset. He was upset that he fell for his best friend. He felt like everything was slipping away from him.

He was in love with Eddie and he would change it if he could. He didn’t want to but he didn’t want to ruin their friendship and make it awkward between them.

Bucks definitely thought about telling Eddie, a small piece of hope still lingering somewhere inside him that Eddie might, just might, love him back.

But he was terrified. Terrified of screwing things up. Terrified of loosing Eddie, loosing Christopher.

They were best things that had ever happened to him. Which is what made the lawsuit situation so difficult.

He couldn’t see them, couldn’t speak to them. Even after it was over with and he was back at the firehouse, Eddie still wouldn’t talk to him. All he wanted to do was cry and beg Eddie to forgive him.

When they finally talked, Eddie told him that he wasn’t mad at him. He was just upset that Buck didn’t seem to think what suing the department could have meant for the rest of them. Or as Eddie put it, “What that could do to us.”

He seemed to emphasize the word ‘Us’. Buck didn’t know what type of Us he was referring to.

But the moment Eddie said that he forgave Buck, Buck swore that he fell more in love with the man standing in front of him than ever. He forgave him and that’s all Buck wanted. He wanted his best friend back and he got him.

Then there was the time that Eddie got trapped underground trying to save a little boy, Hayden. Bobby told Chim to go down to get Eddie, but Buck heard and immediately said that he should be the one to go. Hen had replied that they didn’t need two cut lines, because Eddie had previously cut his line after the 30 minute time limit was up to stay and get Hayden. Hen knew what she was talking about. She knew that if something happened, Buck would more than likely sacrifice himself in order to save Eddie.

But Chimney had gone in in order to get both of them out because conditions were getting bad. Chim had got Hayden out first, waiting to send another line down to get Eddie.

It was raining and cold and the moment lightening hit the truck, sending it down, Buck never felt the fear he felt in that moment.

He ran to where he was supposed to send the line down, frantically yelling Eddie’s name and digging into the mud. Bobby had to physically force Buck away and he collapsed against Bobby and sobbed.

While they were trying to decide what to do to get Eddie out, Buck was on the verge of completely breaking down. He wanted to cry again. He wanted to scream. He wanted Eddie back. He did _not_ want to have to go to Christopher and tell him his dad was gone. Oh god, Christopher.

Christopher couldn’t loose his dad. He had already lost his mom, he could not loose his dad as well. Eddie loved that boy more than words could explain and the thought of Buck having to tell Christopher his dad wasn’t coming home, broke him inside.

But then the moment he heard people murmuring and Bobby saying Eddie’s name, he looked up just in time to see Eddie collapse on the ground. They rushed over to him, picking him up and holding him steady. Buck had gripped onto Eddie’s hand and couldn’t stop the huge smile on his face. A wave of relief has washed over him. Eddie was back. He definitely wasn’t okay. He was covered in mud, dirt and blood and was utterly exhausted.

While Hen and Chim took Eddie to check him over and decide whether they needed to take a drive to the hospital, Buck wouldn’t let go of Eddie’s hand no matter how much Hen or Chimney told him that he was kind of in the way. But he didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact that Eddie was alive and breathing in front of him.

Hen and Chim discovered Eddie had about 3-4 broken ribs and got him in the ambulance and drove to the hospital. Buck was still next to Eddie the entire ride, holding his hand. He thought back to when he was trapped under a ladder truck and while everyone was trying to get him out, Eddie was there holding his hand.

As they had gotten to the hospital, Eddie kept asking for Christopher, wanting to see his son. Buck could understand that.

Once Eddie was settled into a room, Buck went in and found him asleep peacefully. He had already called Eddie’s Abuela and told her what had happened. She said she would bring Christopher over in the morning since it was almost midnight.

The following morning when Eddie woke up, Eddie discovered he was in the hospital and saw his team asleep in the room. He definitely took a mental note of the fact that Buck was right beside his bed, with his hand in Eddie’s. Eddie smiled and gave a slight squeeze to his hand, it waking him up.

Buck practically threw himself at Eddie when he saw that he was awake, but not to where it would hurt him more than he already was.

Buck told him to never, under any circumstances, to _never_ do what he done ever again, to not sacrifice himself like he did, which Eddie cracked a joke at and mentioned the times Buck had done exactly what he’s telling Eddie not to do and that this was a two way street.

Buck had cried into Eddie’s shoulder, telling him that he couldn’t loose him.

Once everyone else was awake, and after they all gave Eddie hugs and Bobby gave him the next few days off in order to heal himself, all Eddie heard was a voice that he heard while he was trapped understand.

“Daddy!”

It was Christopher. The moment Eddie saw him he completely broke. He cried as he motioned for his son to come over to him. Buck had lifted Chris onto the bed and Chris fell into his dads arms and cried as well.

Eddie told Christopher that he was never leaving him and that he loved him more than anything.

Over the next few days once Eddie was home, Buck had offered to come by once he was off his shift to check in on the two of them.

Buck had noticed that Eddie seemed off. He kept Christopher in his sight at all times, almost panicking if he thought he would lose sight of him.

Buck and the rest of the 118 had asked Eddie if something else had happened while he was down underground.

It took a bit but Eddie eventually opened up and told them he was having a ptsd episode the entire time he was in there. When asked the question of how he didn’t drown down there and how he got out, he told them it was because of Christopher. It was because of the 118. It was because of Buck.

He said that he kept having flashbacks of being in war. He kept having flashbacks of all of them. Mostly Christopher and Buck. He said that all it took was hearing Christopher yell for him, for him to fully wake up and pull himself mostly together and get the fuck out of there.

Buck was almost in tears, as well as everyone else. Christopher had practically saved Eddie’s life. But he was also thinking about how Eddie said he was having flashbacks of _him_ and Christopher. Eddie thought about Buck in what could have been his last moments on Earth.

Buck fell in love even more. He wanted nothing more than to tell Eddie that he loved him and never let him go ever again. But then again the fear of ruining what he and Eddie has now would truly destroy Buck.

Flash forward to when the 118 was on a call to a huge apartment building fire. After getting everything under control, they had run into a retired firefighter. He was telling them that he was had been looking for his long lost love. Buck, inspired by the mans story, he decided to help reunite him with his love.

While doing so, he kept giving Buck advice of that if there’s anyone he loves, anyone he cares about that doesn’t know how he feels, to tell them. To not let them get away. That if he was in love with anyone, tell them. He said they only had so much time on this Earth and that with being a firefighter, those years of living could be limited.

Buck thought of Eddie. How much he loved and cared about him. Loved and cared about Christopher. How he’s been so scared to tell him that. The retired firefighter has picked up on Bucks emotions, simply saying, “Tell them.”

Over the few days, Buck had helped the man try and find his lover. They did end up finding the firefighters lost love. He saw how they reacted to finding each other. The two men had hugged and held onto each other.

As he watched, Buck couldn’t help but think back to Mitchell and Thomas. He’d seen how much they loved each other. While in the ambulance as the rest of the 118 was covering Mitchell with a white sheet, Thomas was telling Buck that you didn’t find love, you made it. He remembers how he asked to be alone with Mitchell for a moment. Buck obviously allowed him.

When Buck went over after a few minutes to tell Thomas that they had to take Mitchell, Buck discovered that he was wasn’t breathing. He called for his team and he began cpr on the man. Buck was determined to save him. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and Thomas had died with his hand locked in his husbands.

Buck still thinks about that day. The firefighter and his lover had thanked Buck for bringing them together again.

For the next few days, he spent a lot of his time at Eddie’s house. He, Eddie and Christopher had weekly movie nights.

One night, Buck was basically running on auto-pilot. Eddie had noticed and asked Buck about it several times which Buck brushed it off.

When Christopher had been put to bed after the movie, Eddie asked Buck once again if he was alright.

Buck had swallowed hard, not looking at Eddie. His thoughts were running wild, repeating over and over to himself to _not_ tell Eddie.

But his mouth worked faster than his brain and Buck blurred out the words, “I love you.”

He froze where he was, realizing what he said. He shot up from the couch he and Eddie were sitting on and almost made it to the door to leave when Eddie stopped him.

The moment he turned around, he was basically pushed up against the door he was just about to walk out of, hands were on his face and lips were on his. Once his brain caught up to him, he realized it was Eddie. He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck and kissed him back.

When they had pulled away, they were both panting. Buck could barely register with what just happened before he heard Eddie whisper, “I love you too.”

Buck had met Eddies eyes and stared into them, not sure if he heard him right. He asked, “Really?”

Eddie only smiled and nodded. Before Buck could get another word out, Eddie began telling him that he had been in love him for far longer than he had expected. He told Buck he had fallen in love with him the moment he saw how good he was with Christopher and how much he seemed to care about Christopher as much as he did.

Eddie was rambling at that point but Buck didn’t want to stop him. Eddie then admitted something that made Buck almost sob. He told him that a few weeks back, Christopher had asked his dad if Buck was his other dad. Eddie asked him why he thought that and Christopher replied with, “Because you look at Bucky the same way you use to look at mom.” Christopher was more observant that people thought.

Buck had finally stopped Eddie’s rambling with a sob that broke out of his mouth. Eddie quickly asked if he had done something wrong but Buck gave him a watery smile and said that he definitely didn’t do anything wrong, he was just more happy than he think he’s ever been.

He told Eddie that he did, in fact, think of Christopher as his son at times. He was definitely not a parent and had no idea how to raise a kid, but given the fact that he loved children, loved seeing how they interact with each other, loved just spending time with them and seeing how their growing minds worked, he knew he wanted to be a dad.

Eddie smiled widely at him and took him back over to the couch. Eddie laid down, pulling Buck with him. Now Buck was resting on top of Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s hand running through his hair.

Buck started talking about the night they almost lost Eddie and how terrified he had been. Buck told him how their team at to witness him have a breakdown over not being able to get to him and how much he had screamed for him.

Eddie had tears in his tears that Buck wiped away. Eddie told him he was also terrified. With having a ptsd episode and thinking about how he may never see Christopher or Buck again, Eddie fought like hell to get back to the surface and get back to his family.

Eddie said he remembered how Buck wouldn’t leave his side or let go of his hand which he was beyond grateful for. It had kept him grounded.

After a few moments of silence, Eddie said, “Thank you.”

Buck asked him why he was thanking him. Eddie said it was because of how much he cared about him and Christopher. He told him how he still thinks about how he didn’t even want Shannon near Christopher after she had left them the first time. He told him how he was surprised he immediately let Buck into their life because he was scared of Christopher getting close to someone who might leave him again. But Buck had proved him wrong.

He thanked Buck for always caring about his son and how he fought to get Chris back to him when the tsunami hit. Which he did. He brought Chris back.

Buck, loosing count at how many times he had cried that night, cried once again when Eddie said, “Thank you for loving my boy.”

Buck reached up to cup the side of Eddie’s face, pulling him down to kiss him again. 

Eddie then finally asked if Buck would be his boyfriend which Buck replied with a, “Definitely.” He pecked Eddie’s lips before they both fell asleep. They knew it probably wasn’t the best idea to be sleeping on the couch when they could get up and go get into Eddie’s bed but at that moment neither of cared. They wanted to stay where they are, holding each other.

Despite sleeping on a couch, or technically a human being, the next morning Buck said that was probably the best nights sleep he’s gotten in a while.

Once Christopher woke up, he walked into the kitchen a split second before he saw his dad press a kiss to his Bucky’s temple.

Chris gasped and immediately asked if they were together now. They both smiled and said yes.

“Does that mean Bucky is my other dad now?” Christopher asked.

Buck froze where he was in the kitchen, he had tears in his eyes as he looked at Eddie how simply nodded. Buck walked over to Christopher, wrapping him in a tight embrace, trying not to cry as he said, “Nothing would make me happier than to be your dad.”

Chris clapped and declared that he would now call Buck, Papa. On hearing that, Buck let the tears fall and said, “God, I love you kid.”

“I love you too, Papa.” Chris hugged Buck again and this time Eddie joined in. He kissed both of them and hugged his two favorite boys.

Buck was more content with the world than he had ever been.

This was something he never expected. He never expected to fall for someone he once couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with at the beginning. He never expected to fall so hard and so quick. He never expected to fall for his best friend. And he definitely didn’t expect to be the co-parent of said best friends kid.

And yet, it happened. It happened and he was no longer scared. He was no longer confused. And he was no longer worrying about ruining the best thing that ever happened to him.

Eddie loved him. Eddie was his boyfriend and so much more. Christopher was no longer just his best friends kid, he was his son. He was in a world where Chris called him Papa now instead of Bucky.

He was no longer upset. He was no longer upset that he fell for his best fiend. He felt like everything was finally put together.

He was in love with Eddie and he wouldn’t change it for the world.


End file.
